July 21, 2015

90 Days

90 days. 3 months. In the light of eternity, it's such a tiny amount of time, yet, so much can happen in that short amount of time. In the last 90 days our family has: cried many ugly tears, been completely bewildered, tried to give up, fought hard to stay alive and together, cried out in anguished "old testament hosanna" prayers (desperate cries for rescue before the waves crash over our heads), briefly  declared "some days, for better or worse really sucks", spent many sleepless nights, tried not to give into fear, struggled to praise God with every breath, searched hard to find God in the midst of the mess, let thousands of silent tears slip down our face, looked to the future with fear and uncertainty, seen tears turn to laughter, hugged each other a little tighter, learned to face life one day at a time, leaned heavily on sweet friends, seen "old testament hosannas" turn to "modern day hosannas" (desperate pleas for help becoming loud declarations that our Salvation is already here), learned just how much we don't know about the human brain, seen God's hand of healing, felt God's hand of grace, been given God's peace, been thankful that our plans to give up were thwarted by a God who loves us more than we can imagine, heard God whisper to us through our children, watched God change (every so slightly) our children's hearts toward others and prayer, been given a deeper understanding of God's sovereignty, learned a lot more about truly living eucharisteo every day (giving thanks with JOY), deepened our love for one another, had our appreciation and love for "for better or worse" increased, had our faith and trust in the only One who can see and provide increased, had our prayer lives drastically increased and blessed, and are now looking to the future with hope and joy!

Life has been hard. It's had it's ups and downs. BUT GOD! He's been there every step of the way. He led, guided, comforted, and provided. Father, thank You! Thank You for holding us and getting us through. Thank you for being our hope and salvation. Thank you for redemption and restoration. Continue to lead us, guide us, strengthen us, and keep us focused on You at all times. The days are brighter, but the struggles will always come and go. Help us to be content in You alone and trust You alone. Help us not to waiver in our faith when the hard times come. Let our lives declare You boldly. Let that speak loudly to our children. Use this crazy, messy, ugly beautiful mess of our lives to draw our children and others to You.

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