May 29, 2015

It's Been Awhile

Tired. Worn out. Overwhelmed. Fearful. Confused. Hopeful. Grateful.

It's been a long few months. Though there were times I didn't think it possible, we all survived. Hopefully we're stronger and more faithful on this side of things.

I know that our school suffered this year because of my inability to handle stress, and I feel so guilty about it. We at least finished all the hours that we are required to finish. We did finish our history book and Ethan finished math, but nothing else was finished. It's driving me crazy that we didn't finish!! I feel so far behind. I have our material for next year and I have no idea where to start between the old and the new. Do we do some school over the summer to try and get things finished up before we officially start again in the fall? Or, do we just wait and start where we left off when we start this fall? Oh, I am so overwhelmed. Lord, give me guidance!

I feel like I was so stressed the last few months that I haven't taken time to love on or enjoy our kids. When I get stressed I just sort of shut down and don't want to do anything. So, the house is a mess, the laundry has been piled up, and the kids have been ignored quite a bit. I am hoping to take this summer to say "yes" more often, enjoy making some fun messes, slow down, and just enjoy their smiles, laughter, and crazy creativeness.

I'm really looking forward to some time to dream with and heal alongside the amazing husband the Lord has given me. We've both had a long, hard last few years, but we're both feeling better and ready to tackle the long road ahead together. I look forward to date nights, family walks, roasting marshmallows, and just enjoying a slow summer together.

Father, help me to make this the summer of rest. A whole summer of enjoying the moment and seeing the gifts that God gives. Calm my heart, my mind, and my spirit. Lord, use this summer to teach me true Sabbath rest as I refocus on You. Teach me how to use this Sabbath rest to share Your love and grace with others as You command in Isaiah 58. Show me how to use this Sabbath rest to love my family more than I ever have before. Oh, Lord, renew and refresh me!