January 28, 2015

Confessions of a Stay at Home, Homeschooling Mom of 2 Who Isn't as Extroverted as You Think

  • I am not the perfect wife and mother by a long shot. I'm not good at keeping the kitchen or the bathroom clean. Clean laundry sits in baskets for weeks. I can't even tell you the last time I actually mopped the floors. We were home from Christmas break for two weeks before I turned on a vacuum. My sink is usually full of dishes (and I have a dishwasher.) But, I must remember that, even though I fail at many things, my home is warm, there is food on the table, and clothes on our backs. Oh, Lord, help me to get better in my areas of weakness and use those weaknesses to draw me closer to You.
  • School around here isn't perfect. There are days we don't ever even get to "actual" school work. Some days we are just barely eking by to get through to the end of the day. Some days, I live for bedtime. But, I must remember that most days, I can't wait to dig into history and science. I can't wait to hear my kids quoting scripture and see the creative things they draw. Many times they learn more in those every day moments than they'll ever learn in books and worksheets. Oh, Father, help me to see the joy in each moment. Give me an excitement for school as it leads us closer to You by studying the world You've given us. Let each day be one that is full of the wonder of You!
  • Being really honest, there are days I just wish I could go to work. To spend a day with adults doing real things that make a real difference right in the moment. I want to have moments of my day focused on something other than housework or things I don't do well. I want that satisfaction of knowing others are counting on me and need me to get things done. (Selfish, much?!?!?!?) To be known as someone other than "Sophie and Ethan's mom." But, then I remember that this dull, long, ordinary work I do in my home does make a difference, even if I never see it. I am reminded that there are many parents who grieve not being able to spend more time with their children, so I must be grateful for the time I have with them. Oh, Lord, help me to see the joy, beauty, and importance of the ordinary, every day tasks You've given me right here in my home. Help me to find my identity in You, not in what I do, where I go, or the people I am around. 
  • As many theatre and music people (at least that I know) are, I am nowhere near as confident in real life as I may appear on the stage (which is why I am so much better at playing lower-level, shy characters.) I would stay in my house at all times and never leave if at all possible (and if Gran Rio would deliver.) It takes all of my energy and effort to mingle and be part of a crowd. I love that so many conferences are now streaming live so I can watch them at home and not have to sit in a crowd of thousands of people in order to participate. But, then I realize how much I am missing out on not diving into relationships with people. What joy and excitement I am missing. Oh, Lord, give me Your strength to overcome fears and doubts so I can build genuine, meaningful relationships with those around me. Help me to be able to be a viable part of community that takes care of each other, loves each other, and strives to share You with all we meet.
Oh, Heavenly Father. Mold me into Your image. Change my heart and mind. Give me a hunger for Your word and for time with You that can't be quenched or overshadowed by other things. Father, help me to see the joy and importance of each moment that I consider ordinary and You call ordained. Oh, Lord, help me to be content with You and You alone.

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