November 11, 2014

A Little of This, A Little of That, and Even Some Christmas, Too!

Lots of random thoughts in no particular order:

Pretty sure I will not be getting the Mother of the Year award from Sophie after this conversation today:
S: Mom, can you buy me a Christmas dress this year?
Me: A Christmas dress? You have a whole closet full of dresses you hardly wear.
S: But those aren't Christmassy dresses.
Me: So you want me to go buy you a Christmassy dress so you can wear it once and not wear it again because it's too Christmassy? Do you really think that's the best stewardship of our money?
S:blank stare
Me: I am not buying you a Christmas dress. But, if you really want one, you can buy it yourself.
S:blank stare. She walks away without a word.
Not sure what she was thinking and she hasn't brought it up since. We'll see if she mentions it again the next time we're headed to the store.

Why are my children so full of energy at bedtime, but when it's time for school they can barely move and are "sooooo tired!" Really? Please tell me my kids aren't the only ones.

It got really cold today. And part of me got really excited! I love winter...well, the sparkling snow, sledding, sitting inside with hot chocolate part of winter. Today, was not that kind of winter. I am a firm believer that if it's going to be really cold there should at least be snow with it to make it worth our while. Am I right?!?

I love sweaters. Especially in fall and winter.

I also love scarves. But I don't know how to wear them. So I don't wear them very often.

I am thankful for crock pots and soup. Also hot chocolate, snow pants, snow boots, hills, sleds, toilet paper, Internet, and so much more.

Sometimes, being the adult is no fun.

Honest confession here: There have been many times when I am downstairs and the kids are upstairs that I wish they had a phone only because I would love to be able to text them something instead of having to walk upstairs and tell them face-to-face. Yeah, lazy. I know. Please tell me I'm not the only one who has had that thought. Please.

Oddly, in the last two years, I've suddenly become a huge fan of non-fiction books. This had to have come straight from the Lord because, until then, I couldn't spend more than about 10 minutes reading anything that wasn't pure fiction. Seriously. Now, my book wish list is over flowing, and none of it is fiction! Maybe I really am growing up.

I struggle with jealousy (and I am starting to see this come out in my daughter, too, which is pretty scary!) Sometimes it's jealousy over silly little things-an outfit, a pair of boots, some one's ability. But where I've noticed it most lately is in those good, godly things-jealous of the connection some seem to have to Christ, jealous of the missions opportunities others have. My heart just wants to go, get out there and hold those babies, run in the red dirt with school age children, sit close and comfort a child as they are having jiggers removed from their feet, to be on the front lines of the orphan crisis. I have prayed and prayed that God would allow me the opportunity to go, but as of yet, He has kept that door closed. I work hard to see all that I can do here, and He has certainly opened a lot of doors I never would have expected here in Hannibal, but there is still so much of my heart that wants go. A little part of me wants to wallow and cry each time I hear of another person heading out to the field. I have to work really hard to trust God and not give into that self-pity. If I believe that God is completely sovereign, which I do, then I must believe that His answer of stay, at least for now, is what will bring Him the most glory through my life. Oh, Lord, help me to always be seeking Your will over my wants and wishes.

I love Christmas. I love the lights, the trees, the chill in the air, the snow, the music. I just love Christmas! But, it also brings this huge war within me. I want to celebrate Christmas to fullest, but how can I do that without losing focus on what this special time of year is supposed to remind us of? How can I draw my children to Christ in this season when I am so easily tempted by what the world? THIS BLOG POST really hits where my heart is every year at Christmas. The extreme side of me just wants to forgo presents and use all the money we would have spent on presents to buy chickens, sewing machines, mosquito nets, milk, clean water, etc, for the poorest around the world. Yet, the not so extreme side of me loves to watch the joy on my children's faces as they open presents on Christmas morning. Oh, Lord, lead and guide. Show me how to have the balance of praising and worshiping You at this time we've set aside to specifically focus on the fact that sent Your Son here to die in our place and being a small example of the love and mercy to my children that You showed us in that manger. Show me how to love on my children, give them good gifts (even though those gifts will never be as good as the gifts You give us), yet not spoil them or lose sight of the joy of the truth that You sent Your perfect, sinless Son to show me how to live and to die in my place.

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