February 01, 2014

Internal Randomness Exploding on the Page

It has been a long week and a half!  Sophie and I have both been sick, but whatever this is I have just doesn't want to go away!  Today is the first day that I've actually felt almost normal (though my ears and head are still very stuffy.)  I am such a baby when I don't feel well and I am so blessed that God gave me a husband who understands this and love me anyway!  During all this sickness I've had lots of random things running through my head.  Here and there I had some great blog ideas, but alas, I forgot them, so you're stuck with this post full of randomness. I apologize!  Aren't you glad you can just click over to a different webpage!?!?!  Anyway, here is the randomness that has been in my crazy mind:

--I placed an order on Amazon today.  This makes me feel almost giddy because it contains two new books for us to read, just for fun.  I'm a nerd!

--I've been trying to get back to the Dukan diet I was doing pretty well with before Christmas.  I am not following it to the letter, but I am trying to focus on eating more protein and less sugar and carbs. Oh.my.word!  This is so hard for me.  I LOVE bread and pasta.  Really, I could have just those two things and nothing else and be just fine! And less sugar?  Argh!  It is taking a lot to get used to.  Hoping to be healthier in the end as I do my best to match this with exercise (which has been non-existent while I've been sick.)

--Though I have made strides, I still find that I really struggle with reaching out and connecting with pretty much anyone outside of my home.  I have lots of relationships with people, but I really struggle with really attaching or going deeper.  And I think I notice it more because I know so many people who truly are just lovers of people.  They love to get to know people, cook for people, encourage people, get deeply invested in their lives, and just live life with them.  I know that I need to be more like that, that I need to get more invested with more people, but I just don't know why I can't.  I love working with our Afterschool Adventures kids.  I look forward to that time every week.  I love those kids and enjoy getting to know more about them each week.  But honestly, that connection is somehow just not there between the kids and I. The other ladies that work with the kids each week just have such a connection.  They invest so much more and dive in so much deeper.  I'm both a little jealous and very mystified as to how they do it.  Those ladies give so much in so many other areas, how in the world do they have anything left to give in this area, too?  Can I not develop these relationships because I am not wired that way and it's not something God wants me to do, or is it just because I am not willing to go the extra mile?  I honestly don't know, but I can't help but feel, to a certain extent, that God does want us to be able to dive in and love on and live with others genuinely, but I just have not figured out how to do that, yet.  Lord, please show me how to live for You in all I do.  Show me how to truly be Your hands and feet to all those around me.  Show me how to live life with others, unrestrained and with all I have, for the sole purpose of sharing and declaring You to all I know.

--I am so thankful for the conference I was able to be a part of this weekend.  Because of the weather, things were pretty crazy at times, but it went really well.  I was very nervous about my session, right up until I actually started to teach, and then I just felt so comfortable and in the right place.  Not sure if that is good or bad, but the session went really well.  The girls had a good time and I think they actually understood what I was expressing to them about modesty.  Praying that God will draw those mothers and daughters together over this conversation and it will lead them deeper knowledge of God and His Word.

--How crazy is this weather?  And why does it only happen on the weekends?  I enjoy the snow, but the ice, not so much!

--I love snow days.  I mean, I love the whole concept of a snow day....a break from the norm, a chance to just do something other than the normal, "boring" things.  Even when there wasn't much planned that day, the thought of a snow day is so exciting.  Around here, it usually means "guilt free" sledding...going out and having fun and not worrying about what school isn't being done or what things around the house aren't being cleaned.  I guess I just like an excuse to be lazy!!

--School still continues to be fun.  I am really enjoying our history and the glimpses we are getting of martyrs and saints from the early church as we go through medieval history.  I have also been saddened by the complete and total misuse of power and the Word by so many claiming to be Christians during this time period.  It's just appalling!  Lord, do not ever let me be one who tries to force others to turn to You.  Lord, let me be like those who spend their lives serving others in Your name.  Let me be like those who devote themselves to learning more about You and living out what they learned.  Let my children see this in me and let that lead them to You, even at this young age.

--Over the last few weeks as I have been watching videos and reading articles about the debate between Bill Nye and Ken Ham I have become even more thankful that I know there is a Creator and He desires that all know Him.  I am thankful to know that rather than just being a former monkey because of some chemical changes here and there, I am fearfully and wonderfully made.  And so is every other human on this planet.  I am thankful there is a creator because only with a Creator does human life have any value or meaning. The reason that we must love and care for each other isn't so we can get something from them or because we want good things to happen to us, it's because they are created by God and He loves them.  If we love and obey Him, we love His creations.  It wasn't until recently that I even realized how this line of thinking can and should change everything...everything.  I know I didn't really explain that very well, so I hope it made sense.

--We've been going back through and watching some Scrubs.  I forgot how creative, touching, and well-done the first few seasons of that were. I wish that Christians would work that hard to produce such high quality entertainment.

I know there was nothing earth-shattering here, and you probably wish you had that last 10 minutes back!  Hopefully I made you smile or think in there somewhere!

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