Well, the 40 Days has started! OK, it will actually be 46 because there will be Feast Days on Sundays included. (I am already looking forward to those days!)
Well, I learned today that without food I am very grumpy! I am still eating breakfast and dinner, but fasting through lunch and attempting to fast from snacking. Now, by no means was I starving, or really even the hungriest I have ever been, but I was a GRUMP!!!! I never realized how much snacking I do in a day. It really made me think of the thousands of people all over the world that can barely afford to eat one meal a day, let alone buying snacks to just munch on because I am bored or tired or anything but hungry. (And as God would have it, the portion that Sophie and I were reading today in our The Care and Keeping of You book was talking about being healthy in what and how we eat, including only eating when we are actually hungry.) My poor children today! Praying that tomorrow will go a little better.
My prayer time during lunch today was so good. It was so nice to stop in the middle of the day and pause to talk to my Creator. (I was doing that twice a day, but haven't been so great at keeping that up. I should get back to it. It changed my whole day.) Based on the events of last night and today, I spent today's prayer time praying for our country and its leaders. That was kind of hard to do today, but I am just so tired of hearing all the blaming and finger pointing, but I know that scripture tells us that God sets up kings and deposes them. He is sovereign over all, so regardless of what happens, I can trust Him!
Can't wait until tomorrow to start the devotionals that go with this journey. (In order for the fest day devotionals to land on Sunday, you have to start doing them on a Wednesday.)
We started the devotional today. Each day also includes a story of a person in an impoverished country. Over breakfast we prayed for Irene and her home country of Uganda. That is also what I prayed for during lunch. May God bring healing, peace, and His Truth to the many people in need in that country!
Again today I was surprised by how much I just wanted to eat something, even though I wasn't hungry at all. I am not sure I ever realized before how much I eat just because I am bored, or tired, or sad. I also never realized how much food I actually have in the house! One of the things I am going to try and do this month is make better use of what is already in the house. I am so bad at thinking that there's "nothing to eat", so I run off to the store and get something else, and what I do have just sits there, untouched, and goes to waste. And there are so many who would give anything to have that food. We may be having some interesting things this month, but I am really putting forth an effort to use what we have already in our possession.
Today was a real struggle. Not totally sure why, but lots of guilt today. I felt like everything I ate was just a reminder of how little someone else has. Several times I wanted to grab a snack, but then would think of all the people around that world that don't even have the smallest, simplest snack as an option. When they are hungry, it could be 24 hours or more before there's more food to eat. And even then, it won't be enough to satisfy their hunger. Yet, here I am, eating until I am so full I could puke at practically every meal and munching on things all day, not because I am hungry, but because it just gives me something to do. How selfish and silly of me. Do you know how much money we could save and be using elsewhere if we just stopped purchasing snacks for Kevin and I? I could probably feed an entire orphanage somewhere for a month just on what I would save in a week! Sickening!
A real test of my will happens tomorrow. We're having lunch together as a group at our homeschool classes tomorrow. Can I handle seeing everyone else eating and I'm not? (Yeah, I didn't plan that real well, timing wise, did I!?) I am thankful there will be lots of time for discussion and fellowship to take my mind off of things!
Of course, I am very excited for Sunday, our first feast day! We'll be celebrating it with some college students from church as they join us for lunch! We're all excited!!!!!
Today I prayed for Ruth in Haiti. There are days when there just isn't enough food for their family, so one or more of them must go without. Can you imagine? Lord, thank You for the amazing abundance You have given us. Show us how to love like You using all this "stuff" (money, food, things, etc.) to care for Your amazing creation.
Lunch today was not as difficult as I thought it would be! Snack time however! It's not that is was hard to make it through snack time, it just showed me, once again, how much I eat without even thinking about it. As I was placing the snacks on each plate I can't even count how many times I almost grabbed a pretzel for just a bite. I even almost had a glass of apple juice without even thinking about it. I am also finding that I am trying to create the silliest rules to make the snacking that I want to do "OK."
Today I am prayed for clean water in India. This is a huge issue there and around the world. Continue to pray that clean water will become a reality to the many who don't have it now.
Lord, thank you for the abundance You have given our family. Help each of us to think before just eating something and use that as a moment to pour out praise and thanks to You!