Man, it's been a long and emotion filled week! I haven't been feeling good, and when that happens, I wear my emotions on my sleeve and the tears flow readily. Even the smallest, silliest things will set me off. Of course, anything I perceive as big sets me off, too! There have been a multitude of things that fell in both categories for me this week. And this crazy, wet, dark weather has not helped. Poor Kevin has been on the receiving end of so many tears this week, but through it all he has been so loving, supportive, and wonderful. He always slows me down, helps me to look at things logically, then prays through them with me. What would I do without him?
Two major things set me off this week: First, I watched THIS VIDEO and it shot me straight through the heart. I feel this way so often, and she put it into words beautifully! Lord, help me to remember that being a wife and mother isn't about me. I don't work for them, I work for YOU! Help me to remember that I serve them in order for them to see You, not see me or the things I do. Help me to humbly accept and thanks or praise I receive and to turn any and all feelings of inadequacy, loneliness, or feeling of invisibility to You. Help me to seek You, not praise or adoration. You alone!
The second was knowing that a ministry I was very excited about doing here in Hannibal just wasn't going to work out. I don't know why, but the Lord closed the door. Do I trust that He still has purpose for me even though that one event won't take place? Do I trust that He knows best? Do I trust that He will still provide other ways to serve my community if I am willing to step up and take hold of the daily opportunities, big or small, He places right in front of me? Lord, help! Help me to see You, see Your hand, and trust that You alone know best. Lord, help my unbelief.
Lord, thank you for the peace and comfort that You use my husband to help me see and sense in my life. Thank You for the strong pair of shoulders You have given me in him. Thank You! Thank You!