More randomness floating around in this little head! Since I attempt to be real and honest, I'll put them down here.
--One of my favorite new "routines" is one we just started last week. Kevin and I are wanting to get Sophie in the habit of reading her Bible each morning. Up until last week, we were giving her the Tab and the Bible App was reading to her. Last week, I decided to try something new. She can actually read really well, so I thought it was about time for her to read on her own. So, each morning she sets the timer for 15 minutes and she and I sit on my bed and read our Bibles (she reads her first Message Bible because it's just a little easier to read because the print is larger...plus there are pictures for her to look at to help her understand the story a little better). I'll admit that I don't always get a whole lot out of my 15 minutes of reading because she has to read out loud, which makes it a tad difficult for ADD me to concentrate, but, it's still one of my favorite times of the day. I pray that she learns why this is important and that maybe she'll even hold me accountable to taking time to read my Bible. Already she refuses to move on with her day until she's read her Bible. Right now it's probably more about being able to mark that box off on her morning list, but I pray that it becomes something she desires and can't live without!
--My heart was really turned to gratefulness this week as a college friend ended up in the ICU after delivering her first child. My, how I have been blessed with my children, from the very start. First of all, unlike most people in my life, we have had no trouble conceiving. That, in and of itself, is such a miracle! Second, my pregnancies have been so calm and easy. Very little sickness and no scares. Third, I am pretty sure that both of my deliveries are ones that any woman would love to have. Fairly quick (OK, Ethan was REALLY quick!), no complications, and smooth. Lord, I have no idea why I have been blessed in these areas and others have not. But, I praise You for the gifts You alone have given us in our children. Help us as we lead and guide them through Your truth!
--Homeschooling is going really well, though I have to admit there are days (probably more like MANY days) that end with me just wanting to sit on the couch and cry because I feel like a failure! Don't get me wrong, we were obedient and this has definitely been the right choice for us and I am so glad that we are doing it, but there are some days I feel like all I am doing is treading water, and not even doing that very well! It seems that we either have a great day of school, but the house is a mess and we're lucky if I even remember we're supposed to have dinner. Or, school is rushed and very little is learned, but the house is spic and span, clothes are washed and put away, and dinner is wonderful. It seems I can never do both at the same time. I feel like I am always having to choose between the two. Please tell me that one day, the balance will all work out?!?!?!? This is much how I felt when I was working, either work won or home won, but I could never seem to pull it all together and do both well. Praying that God will fill me with wisdom and show me how to get it all done, because my schedules and plans and hopes and even action hasn't really helped!
--It has felt so good this last week to be back to a fairly regular work out schedule. (Until, of course, this cold started coming on. I am such a baby when I am sick!) I feel so much better and have so much more energy in my day. And, the kids love to go play at the Y, so it seems to work out well for all of us (except of course, that means no cleaning is being done at home and no school is getting done, either!)
--I am still struggling with my selfishness with my time. When Kevin asked me what I wanted for my birthday, I jokingly replied that I wanted 24 hours to myself. OK, so I wasn't joking all that much. There are many days I wish I could get just one hour to myself. Please tell me there are others out there! I mean, even those who work don't get much time alone. But, then I was convicted about how I would spend that time I had alone. I had to admit, I would probably do some cleaning (I can be a little too ADD to clean when others are around), some laundry, and then spend the rest of the time reading a book or watching a movie or something along those lines. But did it ever cross my mind to spend that time in the Word or in prayer? How about using that time to go buy items for the food pantry or go serve at Loaves and Fishes? Maybe I could use that time to purchase items from the World Vision catalogue or pack an extra shoebox? Nope, I just wanted that time to be me and serve me and help me, nothing else. That was a painful realization. And even more painful was that I am not sure I felt all that bad about not even thinking about including those other things. Oh Lord, soften my heart to those things that break Your heart. Lord, show me how to be empty of me and full of You. Lead me in Your path. Open my heart, mind, soul, pocketbook and schedule to those things which will lead others to You and show others Your love and compassion and grace and mercy. Lord, fill me with a desire to be full of You and empty of me. Help me model this "crazy love" lifestyle for my children and husband every single day. Remove my selfishness and fill me with Your love and compassion. Fill me each morning with Your strength and purpose for the day!