January 26, 2011

The Laziness and Selfishness has slowly taken over!

As I came home from church today, for some reason, the Lord brought to mind a lady from our church.  She is the sweetest, most selfless, most encouraging, most amazing woman (and she's under 35!!!!) I think I have ever met.  Seriously.  Anyway, when she came to mind, I was saddened as I realized that it had probably been a month since I had had more than a 2 minute or so conversation with her.  We weren't ever the best of friends, but I at least chatted with her and knew what was going on, but now, I have no idea.  It feels as though she's in another town or something.  Then I got to thinking about why this is the case.  Believe me, it has nothing to do with her.  I have just become lazy and selfish when it comes to dealing with other people.  Back in college and before Kevin and I got married, I was sooooooo good at encouraging and leaving notes and sending little gifts and really keeping up with people and knowing what was going on with other people.  I was a great listener and a great shoulder to lean/cry on.  What has happened?  When Kevin and I were dating/engaged, I could have owned stock in the construction paper/notebook paper/card/marker,etc. companies because I was leaving him notes almost daily.  I was always telling him how proud I was of him and how blessed I was to have him in my life.  Now, he gets notes on his birthday, Valentine's Day and our anniversary and that's pretty much it.  I tell him every now and then how blessed I am and how great he is, but not often enough.  When I was working at the college, I was so good at being encouraging to the students...always leaving the ones that worked for us little notes or gifts.  But now, I am so consumed with me, my day, my family, what's happening in my house, that I don't even look around me to see what's going on, who needs encouragement, who needs to have their spirits lifted, who I can be Jesus to that day.  I have no connection to the world outside my house because I choose to focus only on me.  And to be honest, I keep thinking that once the kids get in school I will have more time to help others, get to know more people, and do the things that Christ expects me to do to spread His love to others...but really...does He really want to me just sit around focused only on myself for the next three years, then start obeying?  I don't think so!  I need to act now!  I need to put the laziness and selfishness aside and run to Him for a heart change!  Lord, help me to seek You in all things.  Help me to put You first in every area of my life.  Help me to love You more and love others as You love them.  Help me to show my children Your love in the way I love them and love others, as well as in the Word that You have given us.

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