October 05, 2010

It's Been a Long Time!

So, I feel like the queen of randomness.  Most of my posts just seem to come from nowhere.  Probably because I wait so long between posts and I try to cram in everything that has happened in between!  Perhaps I should blog more often and this wouldn't happen!  Who am I kidding, I am blogging about as often as I can find the time or inspiration!

I cannot believe how fast my kids are growing!  Sophie never ceases to amaze me with her skills, memory, and ability to understand things I never thought she could at age 4!  Of course, she also makes me smile with her sweet simplicity and total lack of understanding at times, too!  I love how God uses both of my children to teach me more and more about Him and about myself in relation to Him each day.  Sometimes, it's a little overwhelming!

Ethan is just growing like a weed, too!  I am constantly amazed at how quickly he has figured out how to work zippers, open sliding boxes, and how close he is to being able to open doors!  How did this happen!!!  He is saying several words now, though never when you want him to!  He now says mama, dada, shoes (though he said that before he said dada), more (mo), Sis, ball, and moo.  He will repeat what you say sometimes, but he hasn't ever said any of those words at any other time.  Yesterday, for the first time ever, he was following Sophie around her room saying, "Opee!  Opee!"  He hasn't done that since, either, so maybe it was a fluke! 

God has really been working a lot in my prayer time.  So many things have been going on around me and He's using that to help me see the true power and need for prayer in my life.  He's teaching me that it doesn't have to be me just sitting for those 15 minutes in the morning for it to be prayer...I can pray all day, no matter what I am doing or who is around.  Of course, He is also showing me that I do need that time, just He and I, in order to truly hear from Him, rather than just requesting everything under the sun from Him.  I need time to praise Him, hear Him, plead with Him, pour out my heart to Him!  I don't do any of those enough!  I have been so convicted, especially through our small group doing Crazy Love, that I do not use my time wisely or on things that will edify the Kingdom.  Too many times I give God my leftovers (in service, prayer, Bible study, parenting, as a wife, the list could go on and on) and use my best for things I want to do that have basically no eternal significance at all.  Wow!  It's going to be a process, but asking God to reveal in me the changes I need to make and to give me the strength to make those changes.

Our revival last week was pretty challenging, too.  He talked mainly about forgiveness, but also talked about having an angry heart.  Now, I would so not say that I have an angry heart, until he had us look further at our reactions to things.  Man, I am a much more angry person than I thought, I just tend to try and hide it so people don't know.  Oh, how I wish that my reactions to my children and husband, strangers and church family were loving and always in line with how Christ would react.  Again, that will take much work and time spent on my knees before the Father.  It's about more than just having patience, it's about truly relying on God, trusting in Him at all times, surrendering my heart and whole life to Him that He may live and speak through me.  Wow!  Much easier to type than do!  Lord, fill me, change me, and use me!

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