October 28, 2010

Deep Thoughts...Or, Maybe Not So Much!

OK, you know how sometimes things get stuck in your head and they just never leave, even after like 10 years or so?  Well, since I can't sleep, I thought I would share some of those things that were funny or odd at the time, but I never thought I'd remember...yet, I find myself still pulling them out all these years later!  Hope you enjoy my randomness!

-I'm a dirty, dirty vessel and I don't deserve to be here.
-I'd like to change my vote.
-Oh dear, I broke your door.
-You have a face for comedy.
-And he rolled up the scroll, gave it back to the attendant, and sat down.  And they eyes of everyone in the synagogue were fastened on Him. (dramatic pause) Whose eyes are fastened on you?
-Keep stretching!  Keep stretching!
-DelGado, Louisa.  Female.  15 years.  Site of death: 96th Street at Callen Ave.  Death due to massive crush injury caused by municipal snow removal vehicle.  Accidental.
-Bonvillian!!!!!
-Is Dave checking his email again?
-Camp Hades
-I have two feet less!
-Ryan!  We're praying!
-Ohio Stinks!
-Is Dr. Burt your holiness thermometer?
-Eisenhower!
-Remember? The Alamo!
-White trash.
-The back of the van is for sleeping!
-I have had 9 hours of sleep in the last 9 years!
-Women were not allowed in the synagogue.
-Distraction Spice, World's Most Eligible Bachelor Spice, Single Spice, Chester Spice, Scary Theology Spice, Old Spice
-The crow flies at midnight!
-Go to half!
-There once was a church up on a hill, where everything was fine, until...
-Love does not think evil thoughts...
-I'm so...possessed???
-Four years old!
-Let's get the heck outta Dodge!
-Jesus saw a person.
-Weast. Weastie. The Weastonator.  The Weaster Bunny.  The Wicked Witch of the Weast. Are you speaking Weastonics?
-There are worse things than death.  Worse things than dying at the height of your career.  You could be alive.  You hear the songs and watch the videos and know that you will never feel that wall of love again....
-I grabbed my grandmother's knitting needles and I shoved them into my eyes.  And I just kept shoving until the rats quit chewing!
-All souls come clean (pause) John 3:(pause)16.
-No, I'm not suggesting a new word.  I'm simply suggesting we practice the dynamics of this encompassing word (pause, pick up "phones") love.
-spoken as quickly as possible so as to end a nearly unbearably slow scene Just that's all, that's why I came over.  I wanted to tell Miss Abby to call the police, but if it was you and that's your car, then I don't need to bother her and I'll just be running along home now. (nervous giggle and huge, gasping breath)
-Cough drop?  Anyone?

Well, that's probably enough for tonight!

No comments:

Post a Comment