I sit here with so much to say, yet nothing to type, all at the same time. The last 24 hours have been such an emotional and spiritual roller coaster...even though none of the events that have happened, happened to me. Yesterday morning, in one phone call, things went from excitement to deep grief in less than 3 minutes. A dear, sweet friend got some terrible news about her pregnancy. It was devastating. In all honesty, I don't think in all my life I have ever felt someone else's grief as deeply as I was feeling her grief yesterday. It was as if one of my own children had been ripped from me. I couldn't get a hold of myself! I couldn't even call her because I just couldn't stop crying. I spent as much of the day as the kids would allow praying and reading the Bible, searching for peace and answers. She ended up being the strong one, passing God's peace along to us, instead of the other way around. No matter what was happening around me, I just couldn't make the tears stop. Then, out of the blue, it just hit me. God is the God who heals. He ALWAYS heals His people, just not always in the way that we humans would choose. There was the peace that had eluded me. He would heal. He would heal my friend and he would heal that sweet baby, one way or the other. Now, I had to decide, would I choose to give Him glory no matter what, or would I be selfish and give in to my human pride and only praise Him if things went my way. When it all comes down to it, whatever way it turned out, He was still sovereign all the same, so He must be honored, praised, and glorified all the same, either way. I spent the rest of the day and all of this morning in constant prayer.
This morning, my friend had another ultrasound and it reversed everything she was told previously. Wow! What an amazing God! What a faithful God! For me, and for my friend, there was no other explanation than the hand of God on her body and that little baby's body. I feel slightly ashamed to admit that I was surprised by the answer God gave us. I mean, I prayed believing 100% that God could provide this miracle, but, admittedly, not fully believing He actually would. Lord, you really do change times and seasons!!! Thank you Lord, for being faithful when I am faithless. Thank you for turning my tears of grief to tears of joy and turning my mourning into dancing.