So, I sit here with my heart very full, yet not knowing just what to say or type. This weekend I was privileged to help with a little hair and make up for HLG's musical, White Christmas. I am so glad that I was able to help. The students involved were so wonderful and very much restored my faith in college students! They were motivated, involved, and totally committed...it was very refreshing. Of course, the biggest reason I am glad I was able to help is purely selfish...I just love the theatre, being in it, near it, performing, watching, backstage, all of it! I mean, in all honesty, my heart truly aches for it! I love rehearsing and performing. I love being able to present information to people in a fun, new way...and let's be honest...it's nice to know that you have the power of ruling people's emotions, if only for a few minutes (but that's not the biggest draw.) I really don't know what it is, exactly, but I just love it. When I walk into a theatre I practically well up with tears at the thought of all the amazing things that happen when people walk in and hand over their minds and hearts for even just an hour or two. I cannot even find words strong enough to describe it, but I know there are a lot of you out there who totally understand and feel the same way, maybe about theatre, maybe about music or athletics or books. I try not to do a whole lot when it comes to being in shows because it is so time consuming and I know that I need to be here with my family, so these short moments I get to help out at HLG are great! Plus, it's just heart warming to know that all those hours I put into making HLG theatre a place people want to be have paid off and now a new generation of students is putting their heart and soul into doing the same.
Then I got to thinking...why don't I have that same love and passion for the things of God? Now don't get me wrong, I love doing Christian theatre and doing shows that show others the truth of scripture, but that's not the same thing as being in love with His Word and digging into it and pouring over it and sharing it with all I see. Those last things often take a back seat with me because I feel like I am not smart enough to do the study that is needed and I don't like talking one on one with people, if I was truly honest. Why does my heart not ache for those who are lost and going to Hell more than it aches for a stage and a show? Oh LORD, fill my heart and mind with you! Fill my heart with a desire for your Word and truth. Fill the aching in my heart with you and the things of you and let my life be an overflow of all you are showing me and doing in me! Let me desire to reach out and share you with those around me more than I desire a script, a stage, and a character analysis! Help me, LORD, for my flesh is weak and I cannot do any of these things without You!