December 06, 2009

The Theatre, The Theatre, Oh How I Love the Theatre

So, I sit here with my heart very full, yet not knowing just what to say or type. This weekend I was privileged to help with a little hair and make up for HLG's musical, White Christmas. I am so glad that I was able to help. The students involved were so wonderful and very much restored my faith in college students! They were motivated, involved, and totally committed...it was very refreshing. Of course, the biggest reason I am glad I was able to help is purely selfish...I just love the theatre, being in it, near it, performing, watching, backstage, all of it! I mean, in all honesty, my heart truly aches for it! I love rehearsing and performing. I love being able to present information to people in a fun, new way...and let's be honest...it's nice to know that you have the power of ruling people's emotions, if only for a few minutes (but that's not the biggest draw.) I really don't know what it is, exactly, but I just love it. When I walk into a theatre I practically well up with tears at the thought of all the amazing things that happen when people walk in and hand over their minds and hearts for even just an hour or two. I cannot even find words strong enough to describe it, but I know there are a lot of you out there who totally understand and feel the same way, maybe about theatre, maybe about music or athletics or books. I try not to do a whole lot when it comes to being in shows because it is so time consuming and I know that I need to be here with my family, so these short moments I get to help out at HLG are great! Plus, it's just heart warming to know that all those hours I put into making HLG theatre a place people want to be have paid off and now a new generation of students is putting their heart and soul into doing the same.

Then I got to thinking...why don't I have that same love and passion for the things of God? Now don't get me wrong, I love doing Christian theatre and doing shows that show others the truth of scripture, but that's not the same thing as being in love with His Word and digging into it and pouring over it and sharing it with all I see. Those last things often take a back seat with me because I feel like I am not smart enough to do the study that is needed and I don't like talking one on one with people, if I was truly honest. Why does my heart not ache for those who are lost and going to Hell more than it aches for a stage and a show? Oh LORD, fill my heart and mind with you! Fill my heart with a desire for your Word and truth. Fill the aching in my heart with you and the things of you and let my life be an overflow of all you are showing me and doing in me! Let me desire to reach out and share you with those around me more than I desire a script, a stage, and a character analysis! Help me, LORD, for my flesh is weak and I cannot do any of these things without You!

November 26, 2009

More Nostalgia

So, my dad found the floppy disc (yes, floppy disc....no old person jokes, please) that contained all the information for my senior performance, Apt. 5048. It was a lot of work and a lot of fun! My roommate Julie and I put together a variety show where we could sing all the songs that we liked the most...and could wear all the fun costumes we had always wanted to wear, but didn't get to! And, believe it or not, we got an A!!!! Here is the show order:
Opening Video

Music of the Night: Jason Hendrickson

Emcees #1

Makin’ Whoopee: Heather, Ryan, and Julie

Kristine

You Make Me Feel So Young: Kristine Rost

Emcees #2

Phantom of the Opera: Julie Miller and Jason Hendrickson

Emcees #3

Paper Moon: Heather Hazelwood and Cory Combs

Emcees #4

Boogie Woogie…: Julie, Heather and Kristine; Marcus on trumpet; 4
Dancers

Emcees #5

Buttercup: Kevin Allen and Chris Dennis

The Way You Look Tonight: Julie miller and costume parade

Emcees #6

Guys and Dolls: Ryan Black and Cory Combs

Wishin’ and Hopin’: Kristine, Julie, Lauren and Heather

Emcees #7

Annie: Kevin Allen

Emcees #8

Summer Lovin’: Julie and Marcus (Taylor, Mitch, Emily, Ryan, Kristine,
Carl, Heather and Kevin M.)

Hopelessly Devoted: Julie Miller (Amber following)

Video (thank you and goodbye)

Emcees #9

Teddy Bear: Michael Harrelson (Jessica and Michelle screaming girls)

One That I Want: Julie and Marcus (with Greasers and Pink Ladies)

We Go Together: Full Cast

Children's Choir

This is before her bow fell out and she had her melt down!

November 03, 2009

Our Wedding

Just the other day I ran across the CD we had made of all our wedding songs...oh, that brought back memories. Here is a little video I put together to the wedding march that Kevin arranged and recorded because I wanted something different for our wedding. He did an awesome job!

Bibleman 2

Just wanted to take a moment to say thank you for all your prayers for the Bibleman team this weekend. We had a great time and things went well! There were close to 100 children who received Christ!!! What a blessing it is to be part of this ministry.

October 28, 2009

Bibleman

For those of you who haven't heard, I will be heading out this weekend to do a few live shows and film a new Bibleman episode in Albuquerque, NM. What a fun journey it has been playing Biblegirl. It all started in such a crazy way and to think that 7 years have gone by since it all began is mind boggling for me. When I said yes to this, I never dreamed that I would end up doing it this long, or be on the road for several months traveling country to do live shows! What a blessing it has been to be able to do something that I love so much for His Kingdom! I remember that there was a point a few years back when I was really questioning whether or not this ministry was vital, doing any good, or even needed. Then I went to see "The Passion of the Christ". When the movie finished, I just sat there in tears. I thought, "Lord, this was amazing. It was not only a reminder of what you have done from me, but, from an artist's perspective, it was just so well done. Lord, why do we even bother with Bibleman, it doesn't even compare to this!" Then, almost as if I heard Him whisper directly into my ear, He said, "This is why you MUST do Bibleman. Everyone, regardless of age, needs to know that I have sent my Son for them. This makes ministry like Bibleman very important." I have never questioned since then the need for Bibleman or whether or not I want to be part of such a vital ministry to reach children! Please pray for us this weekend that we will be like-minded, focused on Christ, and that He will reach many children for His kingdom!

Randomness


So, it's been awhile since I posted a real blog...I have wanted to for quite some time, but every time I sit down, the words just won't come...I guess I need to start writing down the ideas I get when I get them so I won't forget! Getting old is tough!!!! ;)

Ethan is almost 7 months old, Sophie is one month closer to being 4, and I turn 31 tomorrow. Where has all the time gone? As I sit pondering, so many things come to mind. Never in my life did I imagine that I would be married with two children and staying at home with them. Never growing up did I ever want to be a stay-at-home mom. I love working...it makes me feel useful and gives me the structure I need to be most productive...yet, here I am being a stay-at-home mom. Don't get me wrong, I love it! I love being able to see all the changes in my kids day to day, love getting to laugh with them, cry with them, play with them, hug them, and all the other things that go along with it. I love being able to be right there when something, good or bad, happens. I feel very blessed that God has allowed this to work out for us. But, I must also admit that it's a struggle for me everyday! Working, in all reality, is so much easier for me! I need structure! I need a schedule that I can rely on and know by heart! I am a very goal oriented and task oriented person, so work just works for me. I have such a hard time with this at home. When I am home and I make a schedule, I become a slave to that schedule, regardless of how it affects the children. The clock then rules my life and I leave no time for children, Kevin, or God. Now, I know, you're thinking, "You're home with the kids all day, how can you not have time for them?!?!" I think the same thing. But the constant struggle I feel is that I can't do the things around the house that I feel I should do (cleaning, laundry, just those "duties" that have to get done to have an orderly house) without sacrificing time with the kids. Basically, I feel it's either clean the house or hang out with the kids and I can't seem to find a happy medium where I get to do both. How embarrassing and aggravating it is to know that I am home all day and still can't have a clean house!!! And fitting in quiet time? How do any moms, stay at home or those working, fit that in? I literally give my daughter a 1/2 hour bath everyday just so I can do my Bible study...again...the feeling that I can't do both in the same day...I must choose one over the other...I know I should choose the Bible study, it's best for me and my children that I know and follow the word of God...but the kids need me to be with them, too! I feel so guilty because I often find myself envious of those moms who get to work...which I know sounds sooooo stupid to those moms who would give anything to be at home with their kids! I can't really explain it other than that's when I feel useful, effective, and that I have a sense of order instead of constant chaos! And it's not that I don't feel appreciated for all that I do at home...Kevin is constantly saying how nice it is to have me home and what a good job I do and thanking me for all I do! Not really sure why I am spilling all this out on the page...I guess just to ask for prayer that I would find my fulfillment in Christ rather than earthly things...that I would seek Him on ways to use every moment He has given me at home with my sweet little blessings to point them to Him...and that I would be able to have consistent, daily time in His word and in prayer! Also, any advice on how to make this whole thing work a little more smoothly would be greatly appreciated!


October 11, 2009

Corn Maze

We let Maryssa and Sophie lead us through the corn maze. I didn't get a whole lot of good footage because they kept getting so far in front of us. They were running and the adults were walking as slowly as possible so as not to slip on the mud and land on our bums!


Oh, my sweet little Sophie girl!

Ok, so this first video is what we were trying to get her to do...the second was what happened on the first take! Oh, sometimes it is so hard to be disciplined when she is so funny!


My handsome little man!

Some cute Ethan videos!


October 08, 2009

My Unanswered Questions from The West Wing

--So, what is it that Josh wrote on the inside of the book he gave Donna for Christmas in the first season?
--Where was Ryan in the episode when Donna is on the phone with his roommate looking for him?
--Where did Moira Kelly's character go?
--Why was there no real explanation of where Sam went when he left? I mean, we knew he wasn't going to win the election, but why no details of where he ended up going?
--WHAT HAPPENED WITH ZOE AND CHARLIE?!?!?!?!
--What happened with Will and Kate?
--Why couldn't Josh just say, "Donna, I love you. I've loved you for years and can't imagine my life without you. Will you marry me?"

I'll be adding to this as I think of more while we watch The West Wing throughout the next several months!!!!

I thought of one more...Why wasn't Sam at Leo's funeral? Seriously, Ainsley Hays was there, but not Sam? What is that about?

Oh, another one...where did Ainsley Hays go (wait, CSI Miami...hee hee) and why did she suddenly come back...did she get the job in the Santos administration?

And yet another, did Otto end up working in the Santos administration? If so, in what capacity?

I think we need a one week mini-series to finish up The West Wing and answer all my questions! Plus, I just want to see Josh and Donna one more time...and they better still be together!

October 06, 2009

Random Musings

It has been forever, it seems, since I sat down and wrote an actual post...I have sat at the computer several times, but had nothing to say...then the times I had something to write, there just wasn't the time. Sophie has said so many cute things...wish I had written them down because I so don't remember them now! Hope you've enjoyed the videos that I have posted. Man, I have really enjoyed having a camera that does video with sound!!!! So, be ready, there will be many more videos to come!! I'll probably stick to putting the pics on FaceBook. Anyway, here are just some random things I have been thinking:

--I love fall! I love that it's warm enough to need light, long sleeves or a light jacket, but not cold enough to need a parka. And the leaves changing are so beautiful. What a beautiful time of year. I am so glad that God created this beauty for us to see and remind us of His love and faithfulness.
--The other day, though I can't remember what we were talking about, Sophie actually looked at me and said, "Mom, that's not practical." Where did she get that?
--Why is it that I can memorize a script in mere minutes, but I can't seem to memorize scripture to save my life...unless it's in a script? I am working on this, but it sure is coming along slowly!
--I love my church. It is full of great people with such loving hearts. They love me and my family and take such good care of us!
--I LOVE CHILDREN'S THEATRE! I went to a show today and it brought back so many memories. Children's shows are so much fun...kids react to everything and have so much fun with the shows that, as an actor, you have no choice but to have fun right along with them! Oh, I can't wait until I can be in another one!
--I am still working on getting something of a schedule to be sure that I get in all I need to get in during the day. I almost have something that works, but it really is still a work in progress. It's really hard for me trying to have a schedule and not be consumed with the schedule and the time...but it is getting better.
--I really enjoy chocolate milk, hot chocolate, and well, chocolate.
--I am much more prideful than I ever realized, it's just that I think I am passive aggressive about my pride. So many times I am serving so that I can feel better and feel useful, not because I have the heart of servant. I sooo desire the heart of a servant. I am still praying fervently that God will remove the pride and replace it with His heart of service!

Well, I better get heading to bed so I can be ready for the day tomorrow. Things have been good here. Everyday is an adventure and I am enjoying the ride!

Ethan's Laugh

There is just nothing better than a baby laughing, huh? And Ethan never laughs harder than when Sophie is being silly...which is most of the time because she is quite the entertainer! Anyway, here's a cute video of his new laugh, sorry it's so short!


September 17, 2009

Football Season Really is Here Again

Tonight I got to go watch my oldest nephew play in a football game here in town tonight. I think this is only the 2nd game I've been to since graduating high school. It seems so weird! As I was sitting there watching the game, I couldn't help but remember what an important thing games were every Friday night from the time I was in middle school until I graduated high school. I come from a small IL town where there was just nothing that compared to football, whether the team was actually good or not!

There was nothing like the excitement during school on Fridays! All week long, you were just wondering whose football jersey you were going to wear that week (unless you were dating someone, then you already knew, which I wasn't, so it was always something to look forward to and dread at the same time!) I was in student council all through high school, and it just so happened that SC ran the concession stand each week. But, I was also on the drill team, which got me out of having to work in the concession stand (thank goodness...I still can't make change to save my life)...but that meant that we had to help set up and clean up instead. Oh, the hours my cousin (that's right, the town is small enough that I went to school with relatives that weren't my sisters! I even had several of the same teachers my parents and aunts and unlces had!) Amanda and I spent trying to clean the nacho cheese out of the crock pot. If only they'd had crock pot liners in those days! I loved the nights when it was just cool enough for long sleeves, but not cold enough to freeze. There was nothing better than a handmade lemon shake-up, Frito pie, a cup of hot chocolate, and a Big Red football game on a Friday night. Sitting there at the game tonight even made me miss it a bit...which I thought would never happen! Aww the memories!

September 04, 2009

The End of an Era

So, though I didn't know it until late in the day, today was the last football game between my high school alma mater and their rival for over 50 years. Next school year, the two schools, Girard and Virden, will be one school. That is so weird to think of at the moment. I mean, you could have friends from Virden and even date people from Virden, but there was one week each school year where there was no one worse than someone living in Virden. Strangely, though, I don't feel the sentimental attachment to it that I thought I would. I was on the drill team, volleyball team, in the choir, and even was a cheerleader in 8th grade, but there isn't really the feeling of loss or sadness I thought I would have. Not really sure what that means. I thought I had school pride when I was there, but not so much feeling it now...though, I am sure that if I had been at mom's this weekend, there's no way I would have missed that game. If it wasn't for Face Book, I probably wouldn't even know much of what is going on in the lives of those I went to school with, back in the day. I don't even know where I am going with this post, just the random thoughts in my head right now. I still can't believe there won't be a GHS next year. Though I wasn't extremely outgoing or had a lot of really close friends in high school, I did enjoy it and had a good time. It is sad that others will not get to have that experience at HLG, but hopefully the students will be able to get a better education and be more prepared for college. Girard didn't win the game tonight...but there should be a few more chances with a few other sports in this final season for the Girard Big Red!

August 19, 2009

Remember the time....

Just a few phrases from the ole college days to bring back memories! If you were there, hope you enjoy a little trip down memory lane...if you weren't these probably make no sense!

--We dropped the ball.
--I'm a dirty, dirty vessel and I don't deserve to be here.
--Go to half!
--I'd like to change my vote.
--Oh dear, I broke your door.
--Is Dr. Burt your holiness thermometer?
--Take it home with you, ladies.
--I love love.
--Hold the hips.
--Remember...The Alamo
--Eisenhower!
--I have 2 feet less!
--Scrappy Calhoun
--I took my Grandmother's knitting needles and shoved them into my eyes...and I just kept shoving until the rats quit chewing.
--Bonvillian!!!!!
--Is he checking his email?
--Weast: He rolled up the scroll, gave it back to the priest, and the eyes of everyone in the synagogue were fastened on Him.
What we were thinking while Weast was talking: Keep stretching, keep stretching, keep stretching.
--The FTD florist.
--Women were not allowed in the synagogue.
--You have to warn me before you open the window!
--I have slept 9 hours in the last 9 years!!!
--If you're going to sleep, you need to sit in the back.
--White trash.
--What is the limit?
--There are 8 of us, we're tax exempt, and we need a receipt.
--We ARE New Edition from Hannibal-LaGrange College.
--No, we're not a singing group, we're a drama team. Trust me, you don't want us to sing!
--That give a whole new meaning to the phrase, "Get the heck outta dodge!"
--Decorum!
--Scary Theology Spice, Most Eligible Bachelor Spice, Single Spice, Distraction Spice, Old Spice
--The crow flies at midnight.

August 16, 2009

A Little Help from my Friends

Hey Everyone! First of all, Kevin made it home safely. Thanks for all the prayers! Hopefully I will be able to put some pics up soon.

Second, Kevin and I are looking for some yummy and healthy recipes. If you have any you would like to share, I would greatly appreciate it. I am not that great of a cook, so the simpler the better! Thanks in advance for your help!

August 12, 2009

People Change

Just in the last month or so, I have been able to use Face Book to keep up with some old friends from high school. Also, my mom still lives in the town where I went to school, so I keep up on what's happening with others through her. I have been so amazed with what I have seen and heard about some old classmates. There are so many of them that have come to know Christ, some who are even youth ministers now, that would never have set foot in a church when we were in school! Wow! What a mighty God we serve. I am sad to say that, while in school, I never once witnessed to any of them or tried in any way to show Christ to them in word or deed. Sure, I didn't go out and party with them, but that was mainly because I wasn't invited in the first place, not because I wanted them to see that Christ was making a difference in my life. I also never really gave much thought to their spiritual lives once I got into college and even beyond. I pretty much just left for school and never really looked back. I am so sad that I did not step up and share my faith...perhaps they could have come to Christ sooner and spared themselves some heartache and been working for the Kingdom much sooner. I pray that my children will be those who are drawn to Christ at an early age and have a boldness to share Christ with all they see, in word and deed. For those of you who went to school with me, I am so sorry that I never gave a thought to your spiritual well-being. I was selfish and prideful and frightened. I praise the Lord that in His timing and wisdom, He has drawn you to Himself and you are now living a life for Him! Lord, remind me of this daily and give me the boldness to step out and share You with those around me! Lord, restore to me the joy of my salvation that I may grieve for those who do not know you...that I may truly have a desire to show you to a dark world.

August 11, 2009

Sophie says...

  • While Kevin was reading her Bible to her at bedtime: Kevin: One day Jesus will come back and take those who are His children with him to Heaven. Sophie: Does Jesus have a car? Kevin: No, he won't need a car. We'll fly there. Sophie: Oh, then we're going to need capes!
  • While staring in the mirror: You know why I'm looking in the mirror? It's because I'm so cute!
  • When we pulled into Applebee's for dinner: Sophie: What is this place? Grandma Gail: It's Applebee's. Sophie: Oh...I don't like bees, but I do like apples.
  • Singing a song along with the radio: Oh no, You never let go, through the comet, through the snow.
  • She calls the villain from Larry Boy and the Angry Eybrows Uncle Alvin...his name is Angry Alvin, but you'll never convince her of that!

I am so sure there are many more hilarious things that she is said, they just aren't coming to me now...but stay tuned, I am sure there will be many more posts like this...and I can't wait until I get to add some for Ethan...and I'm even more excited to add all the funny things they will start saying to each other when that time comes!!!!

August 09, 2009

Since Kevin left a week ago...

-Ethan started cutting teeth.
-Sophie forgot how to use the potty.
-Apparently I can no longer tell the difference between Ethan's shorts and Sophie's shorts!
-I've realized how truly blessed I am that I am not a single mother! Kevin does so much more than I ever realized!
-Ethan just might be ready to move up to the next size diaper. Where did all the time go?
-I've put on at least 5 pounds because I eat without anyone to talk to after Sophie goes to bed.
-The West Wing has suddenly not been as funny without him here...or that could just be a figment of my imagination.
-I started and finished one novel and am halfway through another.
-I cut and dyed my hair.
-Did I mention I really missed having him around?
-I have become much more excited to see that I have something waiting for me in my inbox.
-I watched almost an entire Monk marathon...I am now a huge fan and sad that I didn't really catch on until the last season!
-I spent a week at mom's with my kids and my two youngest nieces. We had lots of fun!
-I remembered that I don't sleep well without Kevin...been a long week!
-I have had more soda than I have had in the last two months...must start drinking more water! Maybe the soda has something to do with the weight gain!
-Remembered how much I love watching Marlee Matlin on The West Wing. She signs way faster than I can keep up with, but her character is awesome and very witty and funny!
-I have wanted to do nothing but sit on the couch and eat nothing but junk food! Wait, I think I feel that way anyway!
-Oh, I have missed Kevin terribly and am just trying to patiently await his arrival back home.
-I have come to love my family even more...thanks for letting me stay in your home and for coming over to eat!
-I am really missing time just sitting and talking with Kevin, just the two of us. Can't wait for him to get home!!!!!!!!

Another Romania Update

Got this from Kevin today:
Pray for us tomorrow, we're staying in Bucharest and just talking to random college age students near the universities ..... kinda some pre-minsitry work to gather stats and info for Bob Craig to plan future outreach. I know you hate that kind of thing - going up to strangers - and it makes me uncomfortable too, as I'm sure it does for most of us. Pray for boldness and opportunity to share our faith, and to collect helpful information for Bob. The team is pretty tired and could really use your prayers for extra energy to finish out this week!

August 07, 2009

Romania Update

Here is the update I got from Kevin this afternoon. They are 8 hours ahead of us!

we didn't do concrete today, we have planned it for tomorrow. it is a much different and labor intensive process here than how we do it, and we have decided to hire a local construction guy that lives next door to help us with it tomorrow, since he has done a lot of it and knows how to do it well. it will cost us about $35 - prettysure that will be a good investment.
i continued to cut wood most of the day, it was really good. we walked around the village with a chainsaw and just looked for houses with piles of wood that needed to be cut. we ended up having an amazing conversation with a man that we are hoping will become a spiritual leader there and help continue the ministry that has taken place. he had an incredible testimony, though he doesn't really look at it like that - and he can't read, so he's never had much exposure to the Bible. we believe that he had a major conversion experience and that he has been a baby Christian ever since. i don't have time for details, but it's some crazy stuff. we also played soccer with the villages young adult guys (18 - mid twenties or so) they are much better than i am. :) but i did score a goal, and that is a pretty big accomplishment!

August 06, 2009
















I got to chat with Kevin online today! Woo hoo! He said that they had a great day today. He spent most of his day swinging an axe and running a chain saw. He also said it's really hot! Just thought I would share the pics that he sent! Enjoy!!!!

August 05, 2009

Romania Team


Hey All:

Just wanted to you know that Romania team reached their destination safely. They finished their first day of ministry today. Kevin said that it was a little hectic, but they spent a lot of time playing with the children at the orphanage. Here is a pic of the team when they landed! I'll try to keep you all updated!


August 03, 2009

Mission Trips

Kevin left for his mission trip to Romania this morning at 3:30. The kids and I will miss him terribly, but I am so excited that he's getting to be part of this trip. I cannot wait until our whole family can go on a trip like that together...but it will be awhile, so until then...I'll have to find the courage to go to nursing homes and such, since that's much more compatible with young children!
After he left this morning and I was praying for him, the trip, and the team, I was reminded of the first big mission trip he took after we started dating. It was in the summer of 2002 and he spent a month in Uganda with Awe Star Ministries. We had been dating about a year at this point and I was still living in Dallas at the time. Even at first mention of the possibility of the trip, I knew without a doubt that he was supposed to go. As I spent time praying about the trip, and praying for his safety, it's the only time I really feel like I audibly heard God speak to me...and I think it's the hardest thing I have ever heard. He said, "I will take care of him, but taking care of him does not necessarily mean bringing him home." I really felt in my heart that he would not be returning from the trip, and I was at total peace with that. I knew God was in control and had both Kevin and I in His hands, no matter what happened. I have never felt such a calming reassuring peace in all my life. As I am sure you know, Kevin did return from that trip and I was very joyous and thankful! But, as I thought about that this morning, I had to be honest with God and tell Him that, this time, there was no peace thinking that there is a possibility something could happen and Kevin might not return. I had to tell God that, even though I still believe He is in control of ALL THINGS, I could not honestly say that, whatever happened, I would be OK because He was in control. I wanted to say that I trust Him and trust His sovereignty in this instance, that I want Him to do whatever will bring Him the most Glory and lead the most people to him...but I know that, if taking Kevin Home is what will do that, there is nothing in me that wants that to happen. I was then reminded of our study last night at small group where Jesus led the Last Supper, left singing the psalm "This is the day that the LORD has made, let us rejoice and be glad in it", went to the Garden in agony over what was to come, still prayed "not my will, but Yours", then was crucified shortly after. Can I say, "This is the day that the LORD has made, let us rejoice and be glad in it" no matter what happens? Can I rejoice in the LORD for all he has done, will do, and all he is, even if Kevin never makes it back? Even if His will is that one of my children, family members, or friends must perish for Him to receive the most glory? No, I cannot say, right now, that I can! I want to feel that way. I want that to be the honest cry of my heart, but right now that is not true! I will be praying for the team while they are gone...and praying that the LORD will change my heart so that I can truly say that I can rejoice in Him, no matter what happens! That I can have that peace that passes all understanding, the peace only the LORD can give, in all circumstances!

August 01, 2009

Growing Up

This is Sophie, just a few months old.
This is Ethan just hours after he was born.

I played Louisa DelGado in "The Addict" in college. This was my freshman year.



At my first ever Bibleman signing in Franklin, TN. This was about a year before we got engaged.


Oh to be that size again!

I am in a nostalgic mood, which explains the above pics! Man how things have changed over the years!
So, I am sitting here tonight, just me and Ethan. Ethan is actually in bed, so it's really just me. Kevin is on his way home from a Cardinals game and Sophie is spending the night with a friend. How in the world did she ever get old enough to be spending the night with someone? It seems like it was just yesterday that we were on our way to the hospital to have her and now she's spending the night with friends, dressing herself, and putting her own clothes away! How does time go so quickly! Ethan will be four months old this week. Where did those four months go? I know, this makes me sound so old. I remember how my parents and grandparents always said that time goes by so quickly, and now I know what they mean. It seems like just yesterday I was arriving at HLG as a wide-eyed freshman...now here I am, almost 31, the mother of two, and just celebrated our 6 year anniversary! What in the world?!?!?! I certainly don't feel like I am all those things...most of the time I still feel like I am in college and think that I should be heading off to class or something! I never dreamed that this is the kind of life that I would love and want. I used to never want children. I couldn't imagine ever wanting to stay home with children, if I ever did have them...now I can't imagine life any other way! Isn't it so amazing and wonderful that God doesn't give us the whims of our hearts? Who knows what in the world I would be doing today and how miserable I would be if He had done that. Praise God that He always knows best! Praise God that He alone is the God who sees, the God who heals, the God who answers, and the God who provides! Hallelujah!










July 20, 2009

Service

I am reading the book "Having a Mary Heart in a Martha World" (boy does that title nail me down!) right now and it is so eye opening! I am such a Martha, and not the good Martha from the story with Lazarus...the too busy to realize she could be sitting and learning at Jesus' feet Martha. As I was reading the other day, I was reminded of my senior year of college.

I was a double major in Communication Arts and Speech education getting ready to graduate. I had no idea what I wanted to do...other than be in New Ed forever! I remember just feeling totally lost, and it had nothing to do with lack of open doors, or even motivation, for a career. See, I am a person that is really good at service, perhaps better stated that I am at my best when I am busy, whether it's truly service or not. In college, it was really easy for me to be busy with service. During my freshman year, I travelled with Players. I spent the next two school years and summers travelling to churches with New Edition, and my senior year I served with Praise Song. I always had a place to serve. But, here I was, with just months left until I was on my own, and I had no place to serve. Being in the same church every week was a foreign thought. What was I going to do? I felt so lost because I didn't just have a place to serve as soon as I was finished. I actually felt lost for almost 6 more months after that because I wasn't busy with service. It wasn't until later that I realized that I was so busy serving that I was missing out on the better part by sitting at Jesus' feet being taught. I was focused on being busy and trying to make myself feel better by serving all the time. Now, I am not saying that we shouldn't serve, by any means, but that there are times when we need to get alone with God and sit at His feet and soak up all He has for us! This is still very hard for me. I don't let go of things well and I can't walk away once I have started something. I am pretty much an all or nothing type of personality, which can be good or bad. I know there are a lot of times when I am still busying myself with service, rather than serving from the heart or taking time to learn from God's word and prayer that I should. Being here on vacation, it has been so nice to be able to head out each morning, away from the house, and just get quiet with God. I am surrounded by the beauty of God's creation and everything else just seems to drift away! Oh, that I can continue to do this when I get home. Lord, help me to make this a priority each day. Let me see my need for you in every area of my life, especially my service for Your Kingdom!

Just a few pics!






















Here are some recent pics...I am still working on pics from the TX trip...I broke our camera when I covered it in water after attempting to slide down the slip-n-slide...something an adult should never do!












July 17, 2009

Randomness

So, it's late and Kevin is putting Sophie to bed and I just was sitting here thinking some totally random things...here you go!



*So, while watching The West Wing the other night, I finally heard the phrase that describes me best...I may not have it verbatim, but it went something like this:
Pres. Bartlett to Josh Lyman: You know the difference between us, Josh? I want to be the man. You want to be the guy the man depends on.
That totally describes me. Who would have thought I would have found such insight through Aaron Sorkin!



*I am totally addicted to Deadliest Catch on the Discovery Channel. I love the boat The Northwestern and would love to meet any of the crew. Sig is my favorite of all the captains!



*There are times that I watch the Disney Channel even when Sophie is nowhere to be found. It was my favorite channel growing up. I loved watching Kids Incorporated (back when Fergie was just Stacy Ferguson), The Mickey Mouse Club, and all that fun Sunday afternoon programming (but I can't remember the names of those shows!)

*I played volleyball in high school.

*I love dark chocolate!

*I love the Harry Potter books and movies!

*I was a few months shy of my 25th birthday when I got married. I had been out of college for two years...Kevin on the other hand...was a senior in college.

*The only things I cook well are chicken and roast.

*My daughter was born April 6. Three years later, my son was born April 5.

*When I was younger (like in high school), my dream was to be in a Billy Graham film with Stephen Curtis Chapman.

*I still cry at commercials and sad movies!

*I literally watched the same movie every day my senior year of college.

*My first and only stage kiss was my freshman year of college with a guy that turned out to be one of my best friends...and he married one of my other best friends!

*I was a cheerleader in 8th grade.

*From Kindergarten to 12th grade, I attened 3 different school districts in two different states.

*I met my husband at Hannibal-LaGrange College in Hannibal, MO. We met when we were both on the ministry team Praise Song.

*Is actually sitting here watching Golden Girls right now!

*Used to watch Nick at Night every night while in high school. My favorite show was The Monkees.

I am sure there is more, but it is late and I need to get to bed. Sorry this wasn't very interesting!

July 16, 2009

We are in Texas...Finally!

After two full days of driving, we finally landed in Haskell, TX at Kevin's parents house yesterday at about 4:15 p.m. This is the first time we have driven this particular trip as a whole family. It actually went pretty well. We stopped about every 2 to 2 1/2 hours, mainly because Ethan needed to eat. The stops took longer than I hoped ,but we still made good time. The kids did great! Ethan slept most of the time and Sophie used my MP3 player, her DVD player, and crayons and work books to keep herself occupied. I was so impressed with how well she behaved and dealt with having to be shut up in a car for two days. At each stop, while I was feeding Ethan, Kevin got out and played with her. At three of the stops, Kevin got out her bat and ball and they played...the people driving by and pulling in all thought that was pretty funny. We made lots of people smile on our trip because of that. I haven't put the pics up on the computer, yet, so I don't have any to upload with this entry, but I will upload them soon. We have already had a full day walking out to the tank and back, playing baseball, coloring, and all sorts of games! We weren't able to stay out for long, it's about 106 degrees here today and it's just too hot for much of anything. We are waiting until about 6:30 or so to go swimming so that it won't be quite so hot outside! Anyway, that's what we have been up to so far. Sorry it's a little boring, but we are having fun and glad to be on vacation for about 2 weeks. Woo Hoo!!!!!!!!!

July 08, 2009

Nothing Witty This Way Comes

OK, so that has to be the dorkiest title, but I just couldn't think of anything. I feel like blogging, yet nothing is coming to mind! I have had a long week, but a productive one, nonetheless. Some awesome college friends are coming to spend the weekend with us, so I have been cleaning like crazy...but...of course...when I decided to clean, I also decided to rearrange several things in the house, so I really just ended up making a bigger mess than I had when I started cleaning.

I had all these grand plans when the week began...I had even divided up the house cleaning day by day so that I only had a few rooms to clean each day. I planned to take Sophie to the pool pretty much every afternoon, so I knew I had to work pretty hard in the mornings to get things done. Of course, having a plan doesn't mean that plan works or that I would stick to it! I was already off the plan by 9 a.m. on Monday. Boy, I sure didn't make it very far! I never did get back on that plan, either, but the house is looking good and I like the small little things I did to rearrange (and my husband has the ceiling in the basement halfway done, so that was just a bonus!). But, all this served as a reminder of something God was teaching/telling me during our Life Action revival. Now, I know this is really nothing all that earth shattering to most, but if you know me, you will know it was a huuuuge deal.

You see, somewhere along the way in my 30 years of living, I became a control freak. I don't really know how it happened...I don't remember being this way in high school, or even college, but I sure am now. I must have a list to follow and know what time it is at all times. Everything I do is dictated by a schedule and a clock...EVERYTHING! I cannot stand to be late, and because of that, am super early to everything! (Just ask Kevin, Jessica, Jana, and Jess!!!!) My day is planned out by looking at what time I have to be somewhere and planning the day backwards from there trying to be sure that I have time to get there 15-20 minutes early, just in case something goes wrong and I need more time. If I somehow get off the schedule, then I begin to look at the list and decide what it is that must be removed from the list in order still get where I need to be on time. Being even one minute late is NOT an option! Usually things put off the list are quiet time, eating, and showering. (I know, TMI). I am so controlled by the clock and my list, that my family is often made very miserable and is ignored in order to do those things on the list.

You see, the list and the clock become my priority, not my family. I have an obsession to get all of that accomplished at the cost of my family. This is part of the reason why God led me to quit my part time job last fall. I put more effort and time into that job than I did my family, which is never right. But, even that didn't really open my eyes to this problem. It wasn't until one morning that I was so mad that Kevin wasn't in the car and ready to go because he had taken one minute to eat a bowl of cereal that I realized I had a problem. What a silly thing to be mad about when I had planned extra time in our morning schedule anyway! We wouldn't be late, just not there when I had decided would be best to be there! Wow! I have issues! Anyway, I am really working on this...trying to be much more flexible and not so governed by the clock that I miss out on all God has for me...after all, I am not the one in control...the clock is not in control...but God is. Living by the clock as I had been doing was really my way of saying that I didn't believe God had it all in the first place. Keep praying for me in this area...it is not easy for me to walk away from things or not to follow my list and my clock...but I know that's what I need to work on and am doing so. Hope this wasn't too long or boring for those of you reading! May God bless your day!

June 29, 2009

Much more prideful than I thought

So, admittedly, I never really thought of myself as a very prideful person. I think my first realization that I did have a pride issue was in my senior year of college. I had traveled with New Edition (a Christian theatre troupe) for two school years and two summers. I had served as the summer student director and served as the "emcee" and segue girl for most of that time, as well. My senior year I switched ministry teams and joined Praise Song (which is where I met my hubby). I really didn't think that it would be much of a transition between the two because, hey, they were both traveling ministry teams, right. But, let me say, watching New Ed perform without me that first time was almost gut wrenching. Were they really up there doing all those sketches, for which I could repeat every line word for word,without me? How was that possible? Wouldn't the group just fall apart without me? I was actually saddened that they were able to survive without me! What a jerk! Could I be anymore prideful? That group was never about one person, and hopefully never will be. How could I ever think that I was so important to them that they would fall apart when I moved on? What an idiot. But, here I sit, 9 years later, 30 years old, feeling the same way. Last year I left my part-time job at my college alma mater to be home with my kiddos and to watch my best friend's amazing little girl. Today, I saw that they were going to finally fill my position, with someone full time. As I read the job description, I almost wanted to cry. They are filling my position? They can continue without me? They are moving on and didn't need my help to do it? Then I thought, "What are you thinking? You know that you are right where God wants you...which is not there!" It was a great place to work, but I know, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that it's not where I am supposed to be, so why feel so prideful? Why feel like I am the only one that can do that job justice? I guess because I am human, mostly. Because my focus is on me, my talents and abilities, not on the one who made me and gave me those talents and abilities! LORD, help me to focus on You, not me. Help me to see that it's the giver of the gift, not the gift or the one using it, that deserves the praise and glory! Oh, LORD, never let me forget that!

First Blog

So, I just decided that I would start a blog today...while I was sitting at my mom's...waiting for my cousin to wax my eyebrows! Not really sure what I'll be blogging about...most likely the wonderful adventure of life with Sophie and Ethan. Hopefully I'll be able to figure out how to add pics and such as time goes on! Thanks for stopping by and I hope that you will enjoy what you read!