December 06, 2009
Then I got to thinking...why don't I have that same love and passion for the things of God? Now don't get me wrong, I love doing Christian theatre and doing shows that show others the truth of scripture, but that's not the same thing as being in love with His Word and digging into it and pouring over it and sharing it with all I see. Those last things often take a back seat with me because I feel like I am not smart enough to do the study that is needed and I don't like talking one on one with people, if I was truly honest. Why does my heart not ache for those who are lost and going to Hell more than it aches for a stage and a show? Oh LORD, fill my heart and mind with you! Fill my heart with a desire for your Word and truth. Fill the aching in my heart with you and the things of you and let my life be an overflow of all you are showing me and doing in me! Let me desire to reach out and share you with those around me more than I desire a script, a stage, and a character analysis! Help me, LORD, for my flesh is weak and I cannot do any of these things without You!
November 26, 2009
Music of the Night: Jason Hendrickson
Makin’ Whoopee: Heather, Ryan, and Julie
You Make Me Feel So Young: Kristine Rost
Phantom of the Opera: Julie Miller and Jason Hendrickson
Paper Moon: Heather Hazelwood and Cory Combs
Boogie Woogie…: Julie, Heather and Kristine; Marcus on trumpet; 4
Buttercup: Kevin Allen and Chris Dennis
The Way You Look Tonight: Julie miller and costume parade
Guys and Dolls: Ryan Black and Cory Combs
Wishin’ and Hopin’: Kristine, Julie, Lauren and Heather
Annie: Kevin Allen
Summer Lovin’: Julie and Marcus (Taylor, Mitch, Emily, Ryan, Kristine,
Carl, Heather and Kevin M.)
Hopelessly Devoted: Julie Miller (Amber following)
Video (thank you and goodbye)
Teddy Bear: Michael Harrelson (Jessica and Michelle screaming girls)
One That I Want: Julie and Marcus (with Greasers and Pink Ladies)
We Go Together: Full Cast
November 03, 2009
October 28, 2009
Ethan is almost 7 months old, Sophie is one month closer to being 4, and I turn 31 tomorrow. Where has all the time gone? As I sit pondering, so many things come to mind. Never in my life did I imagine that I would be married with two children and staying at home with them. Never growing up did I ever want to be a stay-at-home mom. I love working...it makes me feel useful and gives me the structure I need to be most productive...yet, here I am being a stay-at-home mom. Don't get me wrong, I love it! I love being able to see all the changes in my kids day to day, love getting to laugh with them, cry with them, play with them, hug them, and all the other things that go along with it. I love being able to be right there when something, good or bad, happens. I feel very blessed that God has allowed this to work out for us. But, I must also admit that it's a struggle for me everyday! Working, in all reality, is so much easier for me! I need structure! I need a schedule that I can rely on and know by heart! I am a very goal oriented and task oriented person, so work just works for me. I have such a hard time with this at home. When I am home and I make a schedule, I become a slave to that schedule, regardless of how it affects the children. The clock then rules my life and I leave no time for children, Kevin, or God. Now, I know, you're thinking, "You're home with the kids all day, how can you not have time for them?!?!" I think the same thing. But the constant struggle I feel is that I can't do the things around the house that I feel I should do (cleaning, laundry, just those "duties" that have to get done to have an orderly house) without sacrificing time with the kids. Basically, I feel it's either clean the house or hang out with the kids and I can't seem to find a happy medium where I get to do both. How embarrassing and aggravating it is to know that I am home all day and still can't have a clean house!!! And fitting in quiet time? How do any moms, stay at home or those working, fit that in? I literally give my daughter a 1/2 hour bath everyday just so I can do my Bible study...again...the feeling that I can't do both in the same day...I must choose one over the other...I know I should choose the Bible study, it's best for me and my children that I know and follow the word of God...but the kids need me to be with them, too! I feel so guilty because I often find myself envious of those moms who get to work...which I know sounds sooooo stupid to those moms who would give anything to be at home with their kids! I can't really explain it other than that's when I feel useful, effective, and that I have a sense of order instead of constant chaos! And it's not that I don't feel appreciated for all that I do at home...Kevin is constantly saying how nice it is to have me home and what a good job I do and thanking me for all I do! Not really sure why I am spilling all this out on the page...I guess just to ask for prayer that I would find my fulfillment in Christ rather than earthly things...that I would seek Him on ways to use every moment He has given me at home with my sweet little blessings to point them to Him...and that I would be able to have consistent, daily time in His word and in prayer! Also, any advice on how to make this whole thing work a little more smoothly would be greatly appreciated!
October 11, 2009
October 08, 2009
--Where was Ryan in the episode when Donna is on the phone with his roommate looking for him?
--Where did Moira Kelly's character go?
--Why was there no real explanation of where Sam went when he left? I mean, we knew he wasn't going to win the election, but why no details of where he ended up going?
--WHAT HAPPENED WITH ZOE AND CHARLIE?!?!?!?!
--What happened with Will and Kate?
--Why couldn't Josh just say, "Donna, I love you. I've loved you for years and can't imagine my life without you. Will you marry me?"
I'll be adding to this as I think of more while we watch The West Wing throughout the next several months!!!!
I thought of one more...Why wasn't Sam at Leo's funeral? Seriously, Ainsley Hays was there, but not Sam? What is that about?
Oh, another one...where did Ainsley Hays go (wait, CSI Miami...hee hee) and why did she suddenly come back...did she get the job in the Santos administration?
And yet another, did Otto end up working in the Santos administration? If so, in what capacity?
I think we need a one week mini-series to finish up The West Wing and answer all my questions! Plus, I just want to see Josh and Donna one more time...and they better still be together!
October 06, 2009
--I love fall! I love that it's warm enough to need light, long sleeves or a light jacket, but not cold enough to need a parka. And the leaves changing are so beautiful. What a beautiful time of year. I am so glad that God created this beauty for us to see and remind us of His love and faithfulness.
--The other day, though I can't remember what we were talking about, Sophie actually looked at me and said, "Mom, that's not practical." Where did she get that?
--Why is it that I can memorize a script in mere minutes, but I can't seem to memorize scripture to save my life...unless it's in a script? I am working on this, but it sure is coming along slowly!
--I love my church. It is full of great people with such loving hearts. They love me and my family and take such good care of us!
--I LOVE CHILDREN'S THEATRE! I went to a show today and it brought back so many memories. Children's shows are so much fun...kids react to everything and have so much fun with the shows that, as an actor, you have no choice but to have fun right along with them! Oh, I can't wait until I can be in another one!
--I am still working on getting something of a schedule to be sure that I get in all I need to get in during the day. I almost have something that works, but it really is still a work in progress. It's really hard for me trying to have a schedule and not be consumed with the schedule and the time...but it is getting better.
--I really enjoy chocolate milk, hot chocolate, and well, chocolate.
--I am much more prideful than I ever realized, it's just that I think I am passive aggressive about my pride. So many times I am serving so that I can feel better and feel useful, not because I have the heart of servant. I sooo desire the heart of a servant. I am still praying fervently that God will remove the pride and replace it with His heart of service!
Well, I better get heading to bed so I can be ready for the day tomorrow. Things have been good here. Everyday is an adventure and I am enjoying the ride!
September 17, 2009
There was nothing like the excitement during school on Fridays! All week long, you were just wondering whose football jersey you were going to wear that week (unless you were dating someone, then you already knew, which I wasn't, so it was always something to look forward to and dread at the same time!) I was in student council all through high school, and it just so happened that SC ran the concession stand each week. But, I was also on the drill team, which got me out of having to work in the concession stand (thank goodness...I still can't make change to save my life)...but that meant that we had to help set up and clean up instead. Oh, the hours my cousin (that's right, the town is small enough that I went to school with relatives that weren't my sisters! I even had several of the same teachers my parents and aunts and unlces had!) Amanda and I spent trying to clean the nacho cheese out of the crock pot. If only they'd had crock pot liners in those days! I loved the nights when it was just cool enough for long sleeves, but not cold enough to freeze. There was nothing better than a handmade lemon shake-up, Frito pie, a cup of hot chocolate, and a Big Red football game on a Friday night. Sitting there at the game tonight even made me miss it a bit...which I thought would never happen! Aww the memories!
September 13, 2009
September 04, 2009
August 19, 2009
--We dropped the ball.
--I'm a dirty, dirty vessel and I don't deserve to be here.
--Go to half!
--I'd like to change my vote.
--Oh dear, I broke your door.
--Is Dr. Burt your holiness thermometer?
--Take it home with you, ladies.
--I love love.
--Hold the hips.
--I have 2 feet less!
--I took my Grandmother's knitting needles and shoved them into my eyes...and I just kept shoving until the rats quit chewing.
--Is he checking his email?
--Weast: He rolled up the scroll, gave it back to the priest, and the eyes of everyone in the synagogue were fastened on Him.
What we were thinking while Weast was talking: Keep stretching, keep stretching, keep stretching.
--The FTD florist.
--Women were not allowed in the synagogue.
--You have to warn me before you open the window!
--I have slept 9 hours in the last 9 years!!!
--If you're going to sleep, you need to sit in the back.
--What is the limit?
--There are 8 of us, we're tax exempt, and we need a receipt.
--We ARE New Edition from Hannibal-LaGrange College.
--No, we're not a singing group, we're a drama team. Trust me, you don't want us to sing!
--That give a whole new meaning to the phrase, "Get the heck outta dodge!"
--Scary Theology Spice, Most Eligible Bachelor Spice, Single Spice, Distraction Spice, Old Spice
--The crow flies at midnight.
August 16, 2009
Second, Kevin and I are looking for some yummy and healthy recipes. If you have any you would like to share, I would greatly appreciate it. I am not that great of a cook, so the simpler the better! Thanks in advance for your help!
August 12, 2009
August 11, 2009
- While Kevin was reading her Bible to her at bedtime: Kevin: One day Jesus will come back and take those who are His children with him to Heaven. Sophie: Does Jesus have a car? Kevin: No, he won't need a car. We'll fly there. Sophie: Oh, then we're going to need capes!
- While staring in the mirror: You know why I'm looking in the mirror? It's because I'm so cute!
- When we pulled into Applebee's for dinner: Sophie: What is this place? Grandma Gail: It's Applebee's. Sophie: Oh...I don't like bees, but I do like apples.
- Singing a song along with the radio: Oh no, You never let go, through the comet, through the snow.
- She calls the villain from Larry Boy and the Angry Eybrows Uncle Alvin...his name is Angry Alvin, but you'll never convince her of that!
I am so sure there are many more hilarious things that she is said, they just aren't coming to me now...but stay tuned, I am sure there will be many more posts like this...and I can't wait until I get to add some for Ethan...and I'm even more excited to add all the funny things they will start saying to each other when that time comes!!!!
August 09, 2009
-Sophie forgot how to use the potty.
-Apparently I can no longer tell the difference between Ethan's shorts and Sophie's shorts!
-I've realized how truly blessed I am that I am not a single mother! Kevin does so much more than I ever realized!
-Ethan just might be ready to move up to the next size diaper. Where did all the time go?
-I've put on at least 5 pounds because I eat without anyone to talk to after Sophie goes to bed.
-The West Wing has suddenly not been as funny without him here...or that could just be a figment of my imagination.
-I started and finished one novel and am halfway through another.
-I cut and dyed my hair.
-Did I mention I really missed having him around?
-I have become much more excited to see that I have something waiting for me in my inbox.
-I watched almost an entire Monk marathon...I am now a huge fan and sad that I didn't really catch on until the last season!
-I spent a week at mom's with my kids and my two youngest nieces. We had lots of fun!
-I remembered that I don't sleep well without Kevin...been a long week!
-I have had more soda than I have had in the last two months...must start drinking more water! Maybe the soda has something to do with the weight gain!
-Remembered how much I love watching Marlee Matlin on The West Wing. She signs way faster than I can keep up with, but her character is awesome and very witty and funny!
-I have wanted to do nothing but sit on the couch and eat nothing but junk food! Wait, I think I feel that way anyway!
-Oh, I have missed Kevin terribly and am just trying to patiently await his arrival back home.
-I have come to love my family even more...thanks for letting me stay in your home and for coming over to eat!
-I am really missing time just sitting and talking with Kevin, just the two of us. Can't wait for him to get home!!!!!!!!
Pray for us tomorrow, we're staying in Bucharest and just talking to random college age students near the universities ..... kinda some pre-minsitry work to gather stats and info for Bob Craig to plan future outreach. I know you hate that kind of thing - going up to strangers - and it makes me uncomfortable too, as I'm sure it does for most of us. Pray for boldness and opportunity to share our faith, and to collect helpful information for Bob. The team is pretty tired and could really use your prayers for extra energy to finish out this week!
August 07, 2009
we didn't do concrete today, we have planned it for tomorrow. it is a much different and labor intensive process here than how we do it, and we have decided to hire a local construction guy that lives next door to help us with it tomorrow, since he has done a lot of it and knows how to do it well. it will cost us about $35 - prettysure that will be a good investment.
i continued to cut wood most of the day, it was really good. we walked around the village with a chainsaw and just looked for houses with piles of wood that needed to be cut. we ended up having an amazing conversation with a man that we are hoping will become a spiritual leader there and help continue the ministry that has taken place. he had an incredible testimony, though he doesn't really look at it like that - and he can't read, so he's never had much exposure to the Bible. we believe that he had a major conversion experience and that he has been a baby Christian ever since. i don't have time for details, but it's some crazy stuff. we also played soccer with the villages young adult guys (18 - mid twenties or so) they are much better than i am. :) but i did score a goal, and that is a pretty big accomplishment!
August 06, 2009
August 05, 2009
August 03, 2009
After he left this morning and I was praying for him, the trip, and the team, I was reminded of the first big mission trip he took after we started dating. It was in the summer of 2002 and he spent a month in Uganda with Awe Star Ministries. We had been dating about a year at this point and I was still living in Dallas at the time. Even at first mention of the possibility of the trip, I knew without a doubt that he was supposed to go. As I spent time praying about the trip, and praying for his safety, it's the only time I really feel like I audibly heard God speak to me...and I think it's the hardest thing I have ever heard. He said, "I will take care of him, but taking care of him does not necessarily mean bringing him home." I really felt in my heart that he would not be returning from the trip, and I was at total peace with that. I knew God was in control and had both Kevin and I in His hands, no matter what happened. I have never felt such a calming reassuring peace in all my life. As I am sure you know, Kevin did return from that trip and I was very joyous and thankful! But, as I thought about that this morning, I had to be honest with God and tell Him that, this time, there was no peace thinking that there is a possibility something could happen and Kevin might not return. I had to tell God that, even though I still believe He is in control of ALL THINGS, I could not honestly say that, whatever happened, I would be OK because He was in control. I wanted to say that I trust Him and trust His sovereignty in this instance, that I want Him to do whatever will bring Him the most Glory and lead the most people to him...but I know that, if taking Kevin Home is what will do that, there is nothing in me that wants that to happen. I was then reminded of our study last night at small group where Jesus led the Last Supper, left singing the psalm "This is the day that the LORD has made, let us rejoice and be glad in it", went to the Garden in agony over what was to come, still prayed "not my will, but Yours", then was crucified shortly after. Can I say, "This is the day that the LORD has made, let us rejoice and be glad in it" no matter what happens? Can I rejoice in the LORD for all he has done, will do, and all he is, even if Kevin never makes it back? Even if His will is that one of my children, family members, or friends must perish for Him to receive the most glory? No, I cannot say, right now, that I can! I want to feel that way. I want that to be the honest cry of my heart, but right now that is not true! I will be praying for the team while they are gone...and praying that the LORD will change my heart so that I can truly say that I can rejoice in Him, no matter what happens! That I can have that peace that passes all understanding, the peace only the LORD can give, in all circumstances!
August 01, 2009
At my first ever Bibleman signing in Franklin, TN. This was about a year before we got engaged.
I am in a nostalgic mood, which explains the above pics! Man how things have changed over the years!
July 20, 2009
I was a double major in Communication Arts and Speech education getting ready to graduate. I had no idea what I wanted to do...other than be in New Ed forever! I remember just feeling totally lost, and it had nothing to do with lack of open doors, or even motivation, for a career. See, I am a person that is really good at service, perhaps better stated that I am at my best when I am busy, whether it's truly service or not. In college, it was really easy for me to be busy with service. During my freshman year, I travelled with Players. I spent the next two school years and summers travelling to churches with New Edition, and my senior year I served with Praise Song. I always had a place to serve. But, here I was, with just months left until I was on my own, and I had no place to serve. Being in the same church every week was a foreign thought. What was I going to do? I felt so lost because I didn't just have a place to serve as soon as I was finished. I actually felt lost for almost 6 more months after that because I wasn't busy with service. It wasn't until later that I realized that I was so busy serving that I was missing out on the better part by sitting at Jesus' feet being taught. I was focused on being busy and trying to make myself feel better by serving all the time. Now, I am not saying that we shouldn't serve, by any means, but that there are times when we need to get alone with God and sit at His feet and soak up all He has for us! This is still very hard for me. I don't let go of things well and I can't walk away once I have started something. I am pretty much an all or nothing type of personality, which can be good or bad. I know there are a lot of times when I am still busying myself with service, rather than serving from the heart or taking time to learn from God's word and prayer that I should. Being here on vacation, it has been so nice to be able to head out each morning, away from the house, and just get quiet with God. I am surrounded by the beauty of God's creation and everything else just seems to drift away! Oh, that I can continue to do this when I get home. Lord, help me to make this a priority each day. Let me see my need for you in every area of my life, especially my service for Your Kingdom!
July 17, 2009
*So, while watching The West Wing the other night, I finally heard the phrase that describes me best...I may not have it verbatim, but it went something like this:
Pres. Bartlett to Josh Lyman: You know the difference between us, Josh? I want to be the man. You want to be the guy the man depends on.
That totally describes me. Who would have thought I would have found such insight through Aaron Sorkin!
*I am totally addicted to Deadliest Catch on the Discovery Channel. I love the boat The Northwestern and would love to meet any of the crew. Sig is my favorite of all the captains!
*There are times that I watch the Disney Channel even when Sophie is nowhere to be found. It was my favorite channel growing up. I loved watching Kids Incorporated (back when Fergie was just Stacy Ferguson), The Mickey Mouse Club, and all that fun Sunday afternoon programming (but I can't remember the names of those shows!)
*I played volleyball in high school.
*I love dark chocolate!
*I love the Harry Potter books and movies!
*I was a few months shy of my 25th birthday when I got married. I had been out of college for two years...Kevin on the other hand...was a senior in college.
*The only things I cook well are chicken and roast.
*My daughter was born April 6. Three years later, my son was born April 5.
*When I was younger (like in high school), my dream was to be in a Billy Graham film with Stephen Curtis Chapman.
*I still cry at commercials and sad movies!
*I literally watched the same movie every day my senior year of college.
*My first and only stage kiss was my freshman year of college with a guy that turned out to be one of my best friends...and he married one of my other best friends!
*I was a cheerleader in 8th grade.
*From Kindergarten to 12th grade, I attened 3 different school districts in two different states.
*I met my husband at Hannibal-LaGrange College in Hannibal, MO. We met when we were both on the ministry team Praise Song.
*Is actually sitting here watching Golden Girls right now!
*Used to watch Nick at Night every night while in high school. My favorite show was The Monkees.
I am sure there is more, but it is late and I need to get to bed. Sorry this wasn't very interesting!
July 16, 2009
July 08, 2009
I had all these grand plans when the week began...I had even divided up the house cleaning day by day so that I only had a few rooms to clean each day. I planned to take Sophie to the pool pretty much every afternoon, so I knew I had to work pretty hard in the mornings to get things done. Of course, having a plan doesn't mean that plan works or that I would stick to it! I was already off the plan by 9 a.m. on Monday. Boy, I sure didn't make it very far! I never did get back on that plan, either, but the house is looking good and I like the small little things I did to rearrange (and my husband has the ceiling in the basement halfway done, so that was just a bonus!). But, all this served as a reminder of something God was teaching/telling me during our Life Action revival. Now, I know this is really nothing all that earth shattering to most, but if you know me, you will know it was a huuuuge deal.
You see, somewhere along the way in my 30 years of living, I became a control freak. I don't really know how it happened...I don't remember being this way in high school, or even college, but I sure am now. I must have a list to follow and know what time it is at all times. Everything I do is dictated by a schedule and a clock...EVERYTHING! I cannot stand to be late, and because of that, am super early to everything! (Just ask Kevin, Jessica, Jana, and Jess!!!!) My day is planned out by looking at what time I have to be somewhere and planning the day backwards from there trying to be sure that I have time to get there 15-20 minutes early, just in case something goes wrong and I need more time. If I somehow get off the schedule, then I begin to look at the list and decide what it is that must be removed from the list in order still get where I need to be on time. Being even one minute late is NOT an option! Usually things put off the list are quiet time, eating, and showering. (I know, TMI). I am so controlled by the clock and my list, that my family is often made very miserable and is ignored in order to do those things on the list.
You see, the list and the clock become my priority, not my family. I have an obsession to get all of that accomplished at the cost of my family. This is part of the reason why God led me to quit my part time job last fall. I put more effort and time into that job than I did my family, which is never right. But, even that didn't really open my eyes to this problem. It wasn't until one morning that I was so mad that Kevin wasn't in the car and ready to go because he had taken one minute to eat a bowl of cereal that I realized I had a problem. What a silly thing to be mad about when I had planned extra time in our morning schedule anyway! We wouldn't be late, just not there when I had decided would be best to be there! Wow! I have issues! Anyway, I am really working on this...trying to be much more flexible and not so governed by the clock that I miss out on all God has for me...after all, I am not the one in control...the clock is not in control...but God is. Living by the clock as I had been doing was really my way of saying that I didn't believe God had it all in the first place. Keep praying for me in this area...it is not easy for me to walk away from things or not to follow my list and my clock...but I know that's what I need to work on and am doing so. Hope this wasn't too long or boring for those of you reading! May God bless your day!